Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Have you ever lied to your family? What were the circumstances?

I can count

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

How can you maintain self-control?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why do women like black men?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Do opposites attract? How often do you see weird couples like a guy/girl dating someone who is boring with no sense of humor ?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

Israel is accused of the gravest war crimes in Gaza - BBC

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Baby saved by gene-editing therapy 'graduates' from hospital, goes home - ABC News

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I can read

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

‘We tried and it didn’t work out’: CDPR co-founder says it shouldn’t stray from AAA open-world RPGs - Video Games Chronicle

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I see through liars

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions